The Chandler Shop

Traditional

Oh, I went down to the chandler's shop,

Some candles for to buy.

When I went into the chandler's shop,

No chandler did I spy.

Well I was disappointed and some angry words were said,

When I heard the sound of a right above me head

Yes, I heard the sounds of a right above me head.

Well I was quick and I was sly

And up the stairs I sped

And very surprised was I to see the chandler there in bed

And with him was a serving maid,

Of most considerable size

And they were having a right before me eyes.

Yes, and they were having a right before me eyes.

Well, when the fun was over and done

And the gentleman raised his head

Very surprised was he to see me standing by the bed.

"If you will be discreet, my dear, if you would be so kind,

You too can come up for some whenever you feel inclined.

Yes, you too can come up for some whenever you feel inclined.

Well, many a night and many a day,

When the chandler's wife was gone,

Down to the chandler's shop for candles I would roam.

But nary a single candle would he give to me, but instead,

Just a little bit more of that to light me way to bed.

Yes, a little bit more of that to light me way to bed.

Optional verse...

Now all you married men, take heed!

Whenever you go to town,

If you should leave your woman alone, be sure to tie her down.

And if you would be kind to her,

Then lay her right down on the floor

And give her so much of that that she doesn't want any more.

Yes, and give her so much of that that she doesn't want any more.